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Barnaby Rudge. Charles Dickens

′He has set off to walk to London,—all the way to London. His nag gone lame in riding out here this blessed afternoon, and comfortably littered down in our stable at this minute; and he giving up a good hot supper and our best bed, because Miss Haredale has gone to a masquerade up in town, and he has set his heart upon seeing her! I don′t think I could persuade myself to do that, beautiful as she is,—but then I′m not in love (at least I don′t think I am) and that′s the whole difference.′

′He is in love then?′ said the stranger.

′Rather,′ replied Joe. ′He′ll never be more in love, and may very easily be less.′

′Silence, sir!′ cried his father.

′What a chap you are, Joe!′ said Long Parkes.

′Such a inconsiderate lad!′ murmured Tom Cobb.

′Putting himself forward and wringing the very nose off his own father′s face!′ exclaimed the parish-clerk, metaphorically.

′What HAVE I done?′ reasoned poor Joe.

′Silence, sir!′ returned his father, ′what do you mean by talking, when you see people that are more than two or three times your age, sitting still and silent and not dreaming of saying a word?′

′Why that′s the proper time for me to talk, isn′t it?′ said Joe rebelliously.

′The proper time, sir!′ retorted his father, ′the proper time′s no time.′

′Ah to be sure!′ muttered Parkes, nodding gravely to the other two who nodded likewise, observing under their breaths that that was the point.

′The proper time′s no time, sir,′ repeated John Willet; ′when I was your age I never talked, I never wanted to talk. I listened and improved myself that′s what I did.′

′And you′d find your father rather a tough customer in argeyment, Joe, if anybody was to try and tackle him,′ said Parkes.

′For the matter o′ that, Phil!′ observed Mr Willet, blowing a long, thin, spiral cloud of smoke out of the corner of his mouth, and staring at it abstractedly as it floated away; ′For the matter o′ that, Phil, argeyment is a gift of Natur. If Natur has gifted a man with powers of argeyment, a man has a right to make the best of ′em, and has not a right to stand on false delicacy, and deny that he is so gifted; for that is a turning of his back on Natur, a flouting of her, a slighting of her precious caskets, and a proving of one′s self to be a swine that isn′t worth her scattering pearls before.′

The landlord pausing here for a very long time, Mr Parkes naturally concluded that he had brought his discourse to an end; and therefore, turning to the young man with some austerity, exclaimed:

′You hear what your father says, Joe? You wouldn′t much like to tackle him in argeyment, I′m thinking, sir.′

′IF,′ said John Willet, turning his eyes from the ceiling to the face of his interrupter, and uttering the monosyllable in capitals, to apprise him that he had put in his oar, as the vulgar say, with unbecoming and irreverent haste; ′IF, sir, Natur has fixed upon me the gift of argeyment, why should I not own to it, and rather glory in the same? Yes, sir, I AM a tough customer that way. You are right, sir. My toughness has been proved, sir, in this room many and many a time, as I think you know; and if you don′t know,′ added John, putting his pipe in his mouth again, ′so much the better, for I an′t proud and am not going to tell you.

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