There was a time when Twigger would have replied, ′Well, Nick!′ but that was in the days of the truck, and a couple of years before the donkey; so, he only bowed.
′I want you to go into training, Twigger,′ said Mr. Tulrumble.
′What for, sir?′ inquired Ned, with a stare.
′Hush, hush, Twigger!′ said the Mayor. ′Shut the door, Mr. Jennings. Look here, Twigger.′
As the Mayor said this, he unlocked a high closet, and disclosed a complete suit of brass armour, of gigantic dimensions.
′I want you to wear this next Monday, Twigger,′ said the Mayor.
′Bless your heart and soul, sir!′ replied Ned, ′you might as well ask me to wear a seventy-four pounder, or a cast-iron boiler.′
′Nonsense, Twigger, nonsense!′ said the Mayor.
′I couldn′t stand under it, sir,′ said Twigger; ′it would make mashed potatoes of me, if I attempted it.′
′Pooh, pooh, Twigger!′ returned the Mayor. ′I tell you I have seen it done with my own eyes, in London, and the man wasn′t half such a man as you are, either.′
′I should as soon have thought of a man′s wearing the case of an eight-day clock to save his linen,′ said Twigger, casting a look of apprehension at the brass suit.
′It′s the easiest thing in the world,′ rejoined the Mayor.
′It′s nothing,′ said Mr. Jennings.
′When you′re used to it,′ added Ned.
′You do it by degrees,′ said the Mayor. ′You would begin with one piece to-morrow, and two the next day, and so on, till you had got it all on. Mr. Jennings, give Twigger a glass of rum. Just try the breast-plate, Twigger. Stay; take another glass of rum first. Help me to lift it, Mr. Jennings. Stand firm, Twigger! There!—it isn′t half as heavy as it looks, is it?′
Twigger was a good strong, stout fellow; so, after a great deal of staggering, he managed to keep himself up, under the breastplate, and even contrived, with the aid of another glass of rum, to walk about in it, and the gauntlets into the bargain. He made a trial of the helmet, but was not equally successful, inasmuch as he tipped over instantly,—an accident which Mr. Tulrumble clearly demonstrated to be occasioned by his not having a counteracting weight of brass on his legs.
′Now, wear that with grace and propriety on Monday next,′ said Tulrumble, ′and I′ll make your fortune.′
′I′ll try what I can do, sir,′ said Twigger.
′It must be kept a profound secret,′ said Tulrumble.
′Of course, sir,′ replied Twigger.
′And you must be sober,′ said Tulrumble; ′perfectly sober.′ Mr. Twigger at once solemnly pledged himself to be as sober as a judge, and Nicholas Tulrumble was satisfied, although, had we been Nicholas, we should certainly have exacted some promise of a more specific nature; inasmuch as, having attended the Mudfog assizes in the evening more than once, we can solemnly testify to having seen judges with very strong symptoms of dinner under their wigs. However, that′s neither here nor there.
The next day, and the day following, and the day after that, Ned Twigger was securely locked up in the small cavern with the sky- light, hard at work at the armour. With every additional piece he could manage to stand upright in, he had an additional glass of rum; and at last, after many partial suffocations, he contrived to get on the whole suit, and to stagger up and down the room in it, like an intoxicated effigy from Westminster Abbey.
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