"Let anybody, I don′t care who it is, get out of bed again," said Tetterby, as a general proclamation, delivered in a very soft- hearted manner, "and astonishment will be the portion of that respected contemporary!"—which expression Mr. Tetterby selected from his screen. "Johnny, my child, take care of your only sister, Sally; for she′s the brightest gem that ever sparkled on your early brow."
Johnny sat down on a little stool, and devotedly crushed himself beneath the weight of Moloch.
"Ah, what a gift that baby is to you, Johnny!" said his father, "and how thankful you ought to be! ′It is not generally known, Johnny,′" he was now referring to the screen again, "′but it is a fact ascertained, by accurate calculations, that the following immense percentage of babies never attain to two years old; that is to say—′"
"Oh, don′t, father, please!" cried Johnny. "I can′t bear it, when I think of Sally."
Mr. Tetterby desisting, Johnny, with a profound sense of his trust, wiped his eyes, and hushed his sister.
"Your brother ′Dolphus," said his father, poking the fire, "is late to-night, Johnny, and will come home like a lump of ice. What′s got your precious mother?"
"Here′s mother, and ′Dolphus too, father!" exclaimed Johnny, "I think."
"You′re right!" returned his father, listening. "Yes, that′s the footstep of my little woman."
The process of induction, by which Mr Tetterby had come to the conclusion that his wife was a little woman, was his own secret. She would have made two editions of himself, very easily. Considered as an individual, she was rather remarkable for being robust and portly; but considered with reference to her husband, her dimensions became magnificent. Nor did they assume a less imposing proportion, when studied with reference to the size of her seven sons, who were but diminutive. In the case of Sally, however, Mrs. Tetterby had asserted herself, at last; as nobody knew better than the victim Johnny, who weighed and measured that exacting idol every hour in the day.
Mrs. Tetterby, who had been marketing, and carried a basket, threw back her bonnet and shawl, and sitting down, fatigued, commanded Johnny to bring his sweet charge to her straightway, for a kiss. Johnny having complied, and gone back to his stool, and again crushed himself, Master Adolphus Tetterby, who had by this time unwound his torso out of a prismatic comforter, apparently interminable, requested the same favour. Johnny having again complied, and again gone back to his stool, and again crushed himself, Mr. Tetterby, struck by a sudden thought, preferred the same claim on his own parental part. The satisfaction of this third desire completely exhausted the sacrifice, who had hardly breath enough left to get back to his stool, crush himself again, and pant at his relations.
"Whatever you do, Johnny," said Mrs. Tetterby, shaking her head, "take care of her, or never look your mother in the face again."
"Nor your brother," said Adolphus.
"Nor your father, Johnny," added Mr. Tetterby.
Johnny, much affected by this conditional renunciation of him, looked down at Moloch′s eyes to see that they were all right, so far, and skilfully patted her back (which was uppermost), and rocked her with his foot.
"Are you wet, ′Dolphus, my boy?" said his father. "Come and take my chair, and dry yourself."
"No, father, thank′ee," said Adolphus, smoothing himself down with his hands.
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