HomeCharles DickensThe Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices

The Lazy Tour of Two Idle Apprentices. Charles Dickens

Wigton market was over, and its bare booths were smoking with rain all down the street. Mr. Thomas Idle, melodramatically carried to the inn′s first floor, and laid upon three chairs (he should have had the sofa, if there had been one), Mr. Goodchild went to the window to take an observation of Wigton, and report what he saw to his disabled companion.

′Brother Francis, brother Francis,′ cried Thomas Idle, ′What do you see from the turret?′

′I see,′ said Brother Francis, ′what I hope and believe to be one of the most dismal places ever seen by eyes. I see the houses with their roofs of dull black, their stained fronts, and their dark- rimmed windows, looking as if they were all in mourning. As every little puff of wind comes down the street, I see a perfect train of rain let off along the wooden stalls in the market-place and exploded against me. I see a very big gas lamp in the centre which I know, by a secret instinct, will not be lighted to-night. I see a pump, with a trivet underneath its spout whereon to stand the vessels that are brought to be filled with water. I see a man come to pump, and he pumps very hard, but no water follows, and he strolls empty away.′

′Brother Francis, brother Francis,′ cried Thomas Idle, ′what more do you see from the turret, besides the man and the pump, and the trivet and the houses all in mourning and the rain?′

′I see,′ said Brother Francis, ′one, two, three, four, five, linen- drapers′ shops in front of me. I see a linen-draper′s shop next door to the right—and there are five more linen-drapers′ shops down the corner to the left. Eleven homicidal linen-drapers′ shops within a short stone′s throw, each with its hands at the throats of all the rest! Over the small first-floor of one of these linen- drapers′ shops appears the wonderful inscription, BANK.′

′Brother Francis, brother Francis,′ cried Thomas Idle, ′what more do you see from the turret, besides the eleven homicidal linen- drapers′ shops, and the wonderful inscription, "Bank,"—on the small first-floor, and the man and the pump and the trivet and the houses all in mourning and the rain?′

′I see,′ said Brother Francis, ′the depository for Christian Knowledge, and through the dark vapour I think I again make out Mr. Spurgeon looming heavily. Her Majesty the Queen, God bless her, printed in colours, I am sure I see. I see the Illustrated London News of several years ago, and I see a sweetmeat shop—which the proprietor calls a "Salt Warehouse"—with one small female child in a cotton bonnet looking in on tip-toe, oblivious of rain. And I see a watchmaker′s with only three great pale watches of a dull metal hanging in his window, each in a separate pane.′

′Brother Francis, brother Francis,′ cried Thomas Idle, ′what more do you see of Wigton, besides these objects, and the man and the pump and the trivet and the houses all in mourning and the rain?′

′I see nothing more,′ said Brother Francis, ′and there is nothing more to see, except the curlpaper bill of the theatre, which was opened and shut last week (the manager′s family played all the parts), and the short, square, chinky omnibus that goes to the railway, and leads too rattling a life over the stones to hold together long. O yes! Now, I see two men with their hands in their pockets and their backs towards me.

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Overall 67 pages


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