′And pray,′ asked Mr Pecksniff, obviously not quite at his ease, ′what may be Mr Slyme′s business here, if I may be permitted to inquire, who am compelled by a regard for my own character to disavow all interest in his proceedings?′
′In the first place,′ returned the gentleman, ′you will permit me to say, that I object to that remark, and that I strongly and indignantly protest against it on behalf of my friend Slyme. In the next place, you will give me leave to introduce myself. My name, sir, is Tigg. The name of Montague Tigg will perhaps be familiar to you, in connection with the most remarkable events of the Peninsular War?′
Mr Pecksniff gently shook his head.
′No matter,′ said the gentleman. ′That man was my father, and I bear his name. I am consequently proud—proud as Lucifer. Excuse me one moment. I desire my friend Slyme to be present at the remainder of this conference.′
With this announcement he hurried away to the outer door of the Blue Dragon, and almost immediately returned with a companion shorter than himself, who was wrapped in an old blue camlet cloak with a lining of faded scarlet. His sharp features being much pinched and nipped by long waiting in the cold, and his straggling red whiskers and frowzy hair being more than usually dishevelled from the same cause, he certainly looked rather unwholesome and uncomfortable than Shakspearian or Miltonic.
′Now,′ said Mr Tigg, clapping one hand on the shoulder of his prepossessing friend, and calling Mr Pecksniff′s attention to him with the other, ′you two are related; and relations never did agree, and never will; which is a wise dispensation and an inevitable thing, or there would be none but family parties, and everybody in the world would bore everybody else to death. If you were on good terms, I should consider you a most confoundedly unnatural pair; but standing towards each other as you do, I took upon you as a couple of devilish deep-thoughted fellows, who may be reasoned with to any extent.′
Here Mr Chevy Slyme, whose great abilities seemed one and all to point towards the sneaking quarter of the moral compass, nudged his friend stealthily with his elbow, and whispered in his ear.
′Chiv,′ said Mr Tigg aloud, in the high tone of one who was not to be tampered with. ′I shall come to that presently. I act upon my own responsibility, or not at all. To the extent of such a trifling loan as a crownpiece to a man of your talents, I look upon Mr Pecksniff as certain;′ and seeing at this juncture that the expression of Mr Pecksniff′s face by no means betokened that he shared this certainty, Mr Tigg laid his finger on his nose again for that gentleman′s private and especial behoof; calling upon him thereby to take notice that the requisition of small loans was another instance of the peculiarities of genius as developed in his friend Slyme; that he, Tigg, winked at the same, because of the strong metaphysical interest which these weaknesses possessed; and that in reference to his own personal advocacy of such small advances, he merely consulted the humour of his friend, without the least regard to his own advantage or necessities.
′Oh, Chiv, Chiv!′ added Mr Tigg, surveying his adopted brother with an air of profound contemplation after dismissing this piece of pantomime. ′You are, upon my life, a strange instance of the little frailties that beset a mighty mind.
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