Snodgrass into the very last extreme of human torture, would request to know ′vere he vos a shovin′ to′; and when Mr. Winkle had done expressing his excessive indignation at witnessing this unprovoked assault, some person behind would knock his hat over his eyes, and beg the favour of his putting his head in his pocket. These, and other practical witticisms, coupled with the unaccountable absence of Mr. Tupman (who had suddenly disappeared, and was nowhere to be found), rendered their situation upon the whole rather more uncomfortable than pleasing or desirable.
At length that low roar of many voices ran through the crowd which usually announces the arrival of whatever they have been waiting for. All eyes were turned in the direction of the sally-port. A few moments of eager expectation, and colours were seen fluttering gaily in the air, arms glistened brightly in the sun, column after column poured on to the plain. The troops halted and formed; the word of command rang through the line; there was a general clash of muskets as arms were presented; and the commander-in-chief, attended by Colonel Bulder and numerous officers, cantered to the front. The military bands struck up altogether; the horses stood upon two legs each, cantered backwards, and whisked their tails about in all directions; the dogs barked, the mob screamed, the troops recovered, and nothing was to be seen on either side, as far as the eye could reach, but a long perspective of red coats and white trousers, fixed and motionless.
Mr. Pickwick had been so fully occupied in falling about, and disentangling himself, miraculously, from between the legs of horses, that he had not enjoyed sufficient leisure to observe the scene before him, until it assumed the appearance we have just described. When he was at last enabled to stand firmly on his legs, his gratification and delight were unbounded.
′Can anything be finer or more delightful?′ he inquired of Mr. Winkle.
′Nothing,′ replied that gentleman, who had had a short man standing on each of his feet for the quarter of an hour immediately preceding. ′It is indeed a noble and a brilliant sight,′ said Mr. Snodgrass, in whose bosom a blaze of poetry was rapidly bursting forth, ′to see the gallant defenders of their country drawn up in brilliant array before its peaceful citizens; their faces beaming—not with warlike ferocity, but with civilised gentleness; their eyes flashing —not with the rude fire of rapine or revenge, but with the soft light of humanity and intelligence.′
Mr. Pickwick fully entered into the spirit of this eulogium, but he could not exactly re-echo its terms; for the soft light of intelligence burned rather feebly in the eyes of the warriors, inasmuch as the command ′eyes front′ had been given, and all the spectator saw before him was several thousand pair of optics, staring straight forward, wholly divested of any expression whatever.
′We are in a capital situation now,′ said Mr. Pickwick, looking round him. The crowd had gradually dispersed in their immediate vicinity, and they were nearly alone.
′Capital!′ echoed both Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Winkle.
′What are they doing now?′ inquired Mr. Pickwick, adjusting his spectacles.
′I—I—rather think,′ said Mr. Winkle, changing colour—′I rather think they′re going to fire.′
′Nonsense,′ said Mr. Pickwick hastily.
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